Leadership Book Club: The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
Why do some incredibly successful people feel like failures? In this episode, Kristen and Mike break down The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy - a book Mike has read five times because it fundamentally changed how he measures success. They explore why so many high achievers are miserable despite their accomplishments, and introduce a simple mental shift that can transform how you experience progress in both your career and life. Through personal stories about new parenthood, aging parents, and their own leadership journeys, they show how measuring backward (from where you've come) instead of forward (toward an ever-moving horizon) creates genuine happiness and confidence. If you've ever felt like you're never doing enough, this conversation will help you see your wins differently.
Highlights:
- The core idea: living in "the gap" (measuring yourself against an ideal) versus "the gain" (measuring yourself against where you started)
- The three daily wins practice and how it transforms your mindset, especially on the hardest days
- Why you should measure your progress backward from where you've been rather than forward toward an ever-moving horizon
- The experience transformer journaling technique for reframing difficult situations
- How to define success on your own terms instead of letting external benchmarks determine your worth
- Why satisfaction is fleeting when you achieve goals if you're always focused on the next milestone
- An honest critique of the book's oversimplified approach to trauma
- Life-changing takeaways: measuring from where you've come creates genuine happiness, and the daily wins practice has powerful impact
Links & Resources Mentioned:
- The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
- Who Not How by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
- 10x Is Easier Than 2x by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
- The Upside of Stress by Kelly McGonigal
- Relentless by Tim Grover
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod
Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/
Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com